Q1@ [11] It was retitled Our Friend, and released on January 22, 2021. Judge Denies Stand Your Ground Defense In Cantonment Gas Station Murder, Students Learn About Ag During Northviews Fresh From Florida Event (With Gallery), Body Found In Cantonment Along East Kingsfield Road, Escambia County Officially Approves Funding For ERECs North Escambia Fiber Internet, Wanted Sex Offender Captured After Tip From NorthEscambia.com Reader, Tate High School Names Students Of The Month, Escambia Woman Claims $1 Million Lottery Scratch-Off Prize, Laziness Encouraged: No Mow March Promotes Pollinators in the Panhandle. ( ( The Friend: Love Is Not a Big Enough Word Our Friend tells the story of the journalist Matthew Teague, who once traveled the world as a foreign correspondent, reporting from countries such. Matthew Teague always heard that if he wanted to be a writer, he needed to live in New York City. ( << "For your girls," he said. I stopped eating and drinking. There was a loophole in the law, though, they said: Someone else could administer it. Please login or register with De Gruyter to order this product. Each night, he would sit alone on our porch after Nicole and I went to bed. The hook of The Friend. ( ( We did it all. Q1@ Haldol was designed as an antischizophrenic drug in the 1950s, at the peak of the mental-institution boom in America. ?! ( ( Reviews did improve. Too Bad, My Nurses Are Dead, and I Dont Know If Im Already Infected, A Visit to the Sweat Lodge and Santa Muerte, Full of Grace and Stop Sending me Jonathan Franzen Novels, Down for the Count and The King Has Spoken and The Power of Sight. According to Alabama law, licensed practical nurses, who were now staying at the house and watching Nicole around the clock, were not allowed to administer it. I didn't want her to see. I remade it, spooning on double the mayonnaise. ( He moved to the edge of the rocks to jump, and I found myself on my feet, clapping and cheering and wishing the sun would stop setting, and these young women would never age or fall ill or die, and Dane could hang there in space for the rest of time, a portrait of readiness and compassion. I still have a few memories. ( 0J4j*P>}~ %PDF-1.6 ( ( ( Dane called me. I could appeal to nothing, because nothing trumps dying. Upon their return, Matt realizes that they are no longer equipped to care for Nicole so he calls a hospice nurse, Faith Pruett. By The Numbers: How Many Calls Did Escambia Fire Rescue Answer Last Month? ( ( ( The Motion Picture Association rating is R -- restricted. ( ( Every issue Esquire has ever published, since 1933. Love wasn't something I felt anymore. ( Nothing tasted right to Nicole anymore except mayonnaise. Later, Nicole's lead nurse, Faith, sat down with me. So when she held up the photo of him with a Mohawk and laughed"Look! But when he returned to his hotel room later that night, early reviews from the trade publications landed like a gut punch. Nicole laughed. We readied ourselves for the physical horrors of death. ( ( ( _Politics with Charles P. Pierce An insider's look at all the politics you can stomachand some you can't. The Politics Blog with Charles P. Pierce began in 2011, and has on nearly every weekday sinceand many weekends besidesbeen home to some of the most incisive, honest, funny, perceptive, historically literate, and often-cathartic political journalism in America. The dressing on Nicole's abdomen became a massive, complex thing that required specialist nurses to come in every couple days and assemble it as a team. There were a lot of people feeling a lot of things. ( Dane finally decides to go home after putting his life on hold to live with the Teague family for over fourteen months. It's a knockout drug. But human bodies defy sterility, with our holes and our sloughing and our fingernails and our wet places. Isabella Kai, Jason Segal and Violet McGraw in "Our Friend." Matthew Teague's 2015 Esquire essay, "The Friend: Love Is Not a Big Enough Word," detailing how his best friend, Dane, moved . ( She wanted to jump into the downtown fountain with all our friends. Matthew Teague is a journalist who's traveled to remote corners of the world for stories. @]L69kc3jXZI)7J_0~8:,mcdXbOSg>iw7v3@Ze\XQI}Aajet[r%r\F *jf_W7, hyDbC{`O p=:@5R 32 h!U,Y[f $A + VKmu4.f\p ###-k_g-$lN9;Eak>"m%%tX9x ;`zwv@FA MEsjZ.,?B0W%1 x#"TpWb'[y 3: Yc1Q Y{kl1;}w A crayon scrawl. Quakers and mental health: Mike Wash, former trustee director at The Retreat, speaks his mind. She is survived by her husband, Matthew Teague; daughters, Molly and Evangeline Teague, all of Fairhope; Father, Raymond Rolin of Atmore, AL; mother, Mary Smith of Pensacola, FL; sisters, Megan Gordon and Hillary Rolin, both of Bay Minette, AL. zpOFGzT1w.Z$ _99lmmh$aT@1Ee,C ( "Yes, ma'am," he said. Was it spoiled? "Like somebody dipped a paintbrush in cancer and flicked it around her abdomen." The cancer was everywhere, and the. ( I realized then that the last honest person to describe death may be whoever came up with "croaking. ( ( In S. Holt & The American Society of Magazine Editors (Ed.). AND HE NEVER LEFT. So we stood watching her for a couple minutes. Only now can I look back on the fullness of our affection; at the time I could see nothing but one wound at a time, a hole the size of a dime, into which I needed to pack a fistful of material. The reviews landed like a gut punch. It surprised me how emotional I felt watching it, Teague recalled. ( ( /Size 18 The essay told the story of her deterioration and death through the prism of their friendship with Dane Faucheux, a rudderless soul who came to visit the Teague family for Thanksgiving and ended up staying for two years to care for the couple and their two young daughters. Then, after a while, I turned and went back inside my empty house. ", When she would emerge into one of her better periods, she would awaken, aghast at the way I was running the house. Sometimes at night, Nicole would wake howling and sweating, with a twist in her bowels. startxref Nicole tried to lift her head and look at her belly. And i remember moting even in the. ( I knew that every moment of enjoyment in this forest would cost me later in guilt. "Just make sure to pick it up before noon," my friend said. She was forcing me to have a talk with my daughters that would link cancer and death, and I wasn't prepared yet. In the epilogue, it is revealed that Matt's article won an award in Esquire magazine and that he and his daughters remain in Fairhope. ( The most obvious manifestation of her illness, aside from weight loss, were the wounds. Titled 'The Friend,' the article told the heartbreaking story of his beloved wife Nicole Teague's diagnosis of terminal cancer, and how their best friend, Dane, became an indispensable addition to their family. ( So while the nurses watched and advised me, I started giving my wife the injections that would, in a sense, finish her life. FUM!AJ@ 8+[ e"n(GA&VQ T7SDb k'eVmwPV_DlG) (c8)x 4aD\_6\UgC/Dkcq+v&hl+^Fbvmni@UsSN8|j|o:DR\NAa(F0 mn>m6@~1JimH(pQb-2B (l;If#D8u]uTFpO xf\MpkNSJ$-/ P |QA90BT_ ^(#3cQXFz>tpzdAs,c/l*7}j- qPlTa43tF` kA4D)oD -ba-/ t@cS7(qD{IDHmZ '%}%"EJuD& f.`)! ( ( We told stories about how we would both be old men, drooling and incontinent, and Nicole would shuffle in to demand a mayonnaise sandwich. The Motion Picture Association rating is R restricted. Common. Popular Posts. ( These values, together with the presentation of the Teagues' resilient marital bond and a sequence that takes a strong stance against suicide, help to compensate for the complete, though unspoken, absence of faith in an afterlife among the characters.The real-life Nicole was, apparently, deeply religious, but this is nowhere in evidence. ( I would call for Dane, waking him, and he would hold the back door open for me while I carried Nicole to the car. Nicole and Matthew are portrayed by Dakota Johnson and Casey Affleck in the movie Our Friend. ( ( I tried to pull jeans onto my wet legs as I stumbled down the stairs, and just before I made it to the bedroom I heard Nicole's rasping breath. The 2019 Toronto Film Festival accepted the film and gave it a coveted opening-weekend slot. ( ( C ." She shed weight, but we expected that. "Does that smell like poop to you? ( Now, with the release of the new film Our Friend, Teague has the opportunity to share his story onscreen.Directed by Gabriela Cowperthwaite, Our Friend recounts Teague's real-life journey during the death of his wife.After his wife, Nicole (Dakota Johnson) has been diagnosed with cancer, Matthew (played by Casey Affleck) struggles to balance meeting her needs and raising their daughters. /Root 13 0 R But in my physical depletion, I discovered what Dane had known all along: My mind felt sharper and was more hopeful than it had been in months. ( ( ( One day, immediately after the nurses left, Nicole started pulling apart the bandages. Starring Casey Affleck, Dakota Johnson, Jason Segel. Since the day of her diagnosis, everything in my life had revolved around this frail figure before me. operatives in Pakistan, famine in Somalia, double agents in Northern Ireland. ( They had two little girls. ( She introduces Matt to Dane, a friend from college working as a camera operator who dreams of becoming a stand-up comic. 2023, Pilot Media. ( ( /O 14 She had passed out. ( "Just to help out for a couple of months.". Directed by Gabriela Cowperthwaite, the film revolves around the bond between Matthew ( Casey Affleck ), Nicole ( Dakota Johnson ), and Dane (Jason Segel). We kept so much liquid morphine in the house that the doctors warned us about burglars. ( "It's not your fault, baby," Nicole told her, leading her away. The film stars Affleck as the . ( ( In 2015, journalist Matthew Teague published a piece in Esquire that detailed the worst time in his life. She requested tape and gauze. Death is an invisible thing that can't be cursed at, or ignored, or denigrated. The cancer was everywhere, and the parts of dying that nobody talks about were about to start.. Nicole was thirty-four, and the doctor had been direct: "It's everywhere," he said. /Type /XObject ( hi1"=wQ1[ zvt a$U/qlNGjO6q 50V@8!|nYvqiHHi 9rOLgn:^`I=z~~ HZ2r \}FGRv@ :,0#,+0zH(HAA=>P}\Z?, hx5!Es?ZP9.&r?Zmyp ,FrW4C+SNV!qi:1.7FO#-(4sCN -4R)h( ( J(=M eqOU 2*P(((((((((((((((Z;ytr#?EfFs -?u$m_Zx&H/C <1 e?}z>h9sY g&!7mc6w3D Nicole's illness had cost Dane; at thirty-six, he had given up a management position and a girlfriend back in New Orleans. Under 17 requires accompanying parent or adult guardian.- - -CLASSIFICATION"Our Friend" (Gravitas Ventures) -- Catholic News Service classification, A-III -- adults. All rights reserved. "I knew she meant it in the most competitive, gloating way possible. ( ( ( /Rotate 0 more info http://movieroar.net/movietrailers/2021/01/our-friend-remarkable-advice-in-an-unusual-surprise/ ( To this day, he receives impassioned, heartbreaking letters. endstream ( I have the way the surgeon's voice shook. 0000000979 00000 n His name is Dane Faucheux, and I remember noting, even in the midst of a mental fugue: Dane's a lot stronger than I realized. ( Dane returns home where he works as a manager at a sporting goods store and begins dating a woman named Kat. Eye - 3 March 2023. I told them to just leave it in their mailbox, where I could pick it up. xc```f``je```A`l9Gb33022(30Xh` y MWbREy-8Qp=bqNWRp=RPhEyo.Q^[Jh-fTf {T&q\ 9+ 6s>6'yUp3Qf{uY"Q*:e4]P_0kH$4\,};E|g}z gPIV`*^$#VyHG}Wxx O~n/[=z\cF:f&e!9g|,Y\F His wife was just thirty-four. She drifted away on Haldol, an ocean measured in milliliters, no longer calling for food or water, which meant the volcano of her stomach stopped erupting. ( And Teague, now 44, knew the drill. ( Teague's award-winning story, "The Friend: Love Is Not a Big Enough Word," was written for Esquire and published in that magazine in May 2015. Hearst Magazine Media, Inc. All Rights Reserved. ( 3 Part I of this Article begins by examining government-employee speech jurisprudence, 11 and then explains why that jurisprudence is not helpful in resolving the conflict presented in the Introduction. ( This artistic defect doesn't, however, prevent "Our Friend" from presenting the grown audience for whom it's suitable with much to admire -- and imitate.The film contains an adultery theme, mature references, including to homosexuality and cohabitation, about a half-dozen uses of profanity, twice as many milder oaths and rough terms as well as considerable crude and crass language. ". Matt embraces Dane, expressing that simply saying "Thank you" isn't enough. ( ( We made a pact: If he married someday or if I remarried and one of our wives was diagnosed with cancer, the other would show up at the hospital and slip a knife between his ribs. He basically packed his life up, a year and a half ago, and moved to Alabama to help his friend care for his wife who was dying (and did die) of ovarian cancer. He would read, or call his friends back in New Orleans, or count raccoons crossing under a streetlight. In it, Teague details how his best friend . During those months, Nicole was drugged and mostly unconscious, and I lay awake listening to the IV pump. His expressions of affection were, for her, tiny victories. ( ( ( Kat struggles to understand Dane's loyalty to the Teague family after weeks turn into months, and they break up. They seemed impossibly joyful and healthy, and we could hear them laughing above the sound of the water. One morning early last summer, I found her standing over the stove with the gas wide open while she tried to teach Molly how to light it. Screen version of a 2015 Esquire magazine article by Matthew Teague (Casey Affleck) recounting the unwavering and selfless support the journalist and his terminally ill wife (Dakota Johnson) received from their best friend (Jason Segel) who, as her death approached, moved in with the couple and helped to care for their two daughters (Isabella Kai ( Taken together, though, the surgeries and chemicals all form a smear that can't be taken apart and examined. Dane said. When I discouraged Nicole from somethingwhen I took away her car keys, or access to our accounts, or certain visiting hoursshe would go to online cancer forums and write posts about my choices. ( On Christmas, Nicole ruptures her abdomen, and Dane is left to watch over the girls. ( I have the way the surgeon's voice shook. The Friend, adapted by Brad Ingelsby, tells the true story of Nicole (Johnson) and Matthew Teague (Affleck), whose friend Dane (Segel) puts his own life on hold and moves into the Teague family . she asked him. She ate so much of it that when Dane and I went to the grocery store, we would buy two jars at a time. /Height 884 The cancer was everywhere, and the. ( /MediaBox [ 0 0 960.75 663 ] It's written about a friend of mine. Hopes and heartbreak. By the summer of 2014, Nicole becomes increasingly irritable, hallucinates, and experiences pain. They had two little girls. I asked Dane later why he had done it. People would stop me on the street to express their sorrow, and I would find myself stooping to match their emotional tone. ( ( 2 Mar 2023 | by Elinor Smallman ( ( ( When I handed it to her, she shook her head. The three become close over the years. ( It got to where I started hiding from Nicole, unable to face the rage. ( 0 ( >> Ak$+ne)Mg+"&# 4-Xb\2 g8Cwop+dX1Cpx?Z ]K@,&IRb,d, ~QhyDbC{`O p=:@5R 32 h!U,Y[f $A + VKmu4.f\p ###-k_g-$lN9;Eak>"m%%tX9x ;`zwv@FA MEsjZ.,?B0W%1 x#"TpWb'[y 3: Yc1Q Y{kl1;}w But underneath it I also felt a deep sense of relief, and even joy. Dane came to the hospital with a bottle of wine. ( ( << Then medical supplies started to arrive. Her husband, Matthew Teague, can be seen on her right. "mmWIxzy =lvl/^G^s|P|bc&~ow <=5m: F0>\G'1rla 'DAj0LCU:" 4JK0-y1.C^90| U4cE=MMqRpGeU[e+TV ,u`j/;0S@1 0@5u1cc7ie;=C[J?bpRc>\N0fe=Ln%XCtL''UvBk1@]V('*0ibJJb >> I started avoiding bedtime. ( Gabriela Cowperthwaite (2019) Terminal illness screen dramas tend not to be unflinching about the physical reality of the condition propelling their story. ( ( The glare of public criticism has helped me be more aware of how frightening and helpless a story subject can feel, he said in a follow-up email. One morning he sat down with me. ( /H [ 645 147 ] I moved her left foot, then her right foot, and so on until we had completed the task. They're coming slow.". Its purpose now was to keep her abdomen from coming apart altogether. ( Need Options? ( Each time Nicole faded, Dane took over many domestic dutieswashing clothes, cleaning, shopping, cooking. May 17th, 2015 7:08 am. In the 64 days between November 3 and January 6, President Donald Trump and his allies fought to reverse the outcome of the vote. I called her oncologist, who used a word I had never heard before: fistulas. You need this.". ( So to have my own story used to beat up my own story was really painful., Cowperthwaite felt the wrath too, saying the early reviews just took the wind out of me. But the director, who has made four films including the BAFTA-nominated documentary Blackfish, has had more experience handling criticism. I told him there was no need. V 2aeb zKlA ( ( ( ( He could just live with us, and I would split my income with him. ( ( 1. Under 17 requires accompanying parent or adult guardian. Matthew Teague's "The Friend: Love Is Not a Big Enough Word" tells the story of both those abstract concepts love and death through wrenching anecdotal experience. ( The gist of it is I wanted my wifes legacy and memory to be one of enormous respect. 2. ( ( What her life lacked in length, it made up for in height. ( Matthew talks about why he wanted to share his personal story of grief and loss. ( We don't tell each other the truth about dying, as a people. They stood looking at Nicole. I had married into this situation, but how had he gotten here? Young women are not supposed to die of cancer in their home while their small children are in the next room. ( ( It looked wrong, like something alien implanted under her skin. /DecodeParms << /Quality 65 >> She started entertaining visitors. ), Downloaded on 4.3.2023 from https://www.degruyter.com/document/doi/10.7312/asme16957-013/html, Classical and Ancient Near Eastern Studies, Library and Information Science, Book Studies, Introduction: Going Native: An Eight-Minute Read, Fixing the System: An Interview with President Obama on Prison Reform, What Is Code? The friend is indefinite. ( Its easy to forget that, even for a writer who prizes empathy. ( Jan. 22, 2021 Gravitas Ventures When his best friend Nicole Teague was diagnosed with ovarian cancer in 2012, Dane Faucheux dropped everything to move hundreds of miles away to help her and her. Each time, she rose again. I don't remember how long I lay in the bathroom, but the light through the windows had shifted when I emerged. We couldn't figure out how she was doing it. And then she burst into tears. ( /E 119809 ( /S 54 ( ( ( "I'm still part of this house.". ", Julia is a kind woman, but honest. ( ( ( ( The cancer was everywhere, and the parts of dying that nobody talks about were about to start. xref Are we sunk? "I'll be back in a couple of weeks," he said. /Linearized 1 As directed by Gabriela Cowperthwaite from a screenplay by Brad Ingelsby, the emotionally wrenching but ultimately uplifting drama treats tragic events in a spare, matter-of-fact manner matched by restrained performances from the gifted cast. ( Under 17 requires accompanying parent or adult guardian. ( Forever if he wanted. "[16] Conversely, Peter Debruge of Variety wrote: "So much of the unpleasantness has been scrubbed from the picture, until what remains is precisely the kind of dishonest, sanitized no-help-to-anyone TV-movie version of death that inspired Teague to set the record straight in the first place. When he found one, he explained our situation to the veterinarian, and after some testing she blurted, "I'm so sorry, but this dog has cancer and I think she's going to die. The Friend. They were heartbreaking. ( Release Calendar Top 250 Movies Most Popular Movies Browse Movies by Genre Top Box Office Showtimes & Tickets Movie News India Movie Spotlight. I found myself locked in a battle against a swelling horde of electronic opponents. I smuggled drugs. September 9, 2014 Nicole Rolin Teague, age 36, a resident of Fairhope, AL, passed Tuesday, September 09, 2014. ( I was in a panic because I didnt know what was going to happen to this thing that is so precious to me, Teague said. He said, "She lashes out at you because she knows you'll stay.". ( - - -Mulderig is on the staff of Catholic News Service.- - -CAPSULE REVIEW"Our Friend" (Gravitas Ventures)Screen version of a 2015 Esquire magazine article by Matthew Teague (Casey Affleck) recounting the unwavering and selfless support the journalist and his terminally ill wife (Dakota Johnson) received from their best friend (Jason Segel) who, as her death approached, moved in with the couple and helped to care for their two daughters (Isabella Kai Rice and Violet McGraw). They had two little girls. ( ( I just lay on the bed, unable to move. The nurses came and replaced Nicole's dressing. ( ( As 2013 closes and Nicole becomes sicker, they decide to tell their daughters and Dane listens on in sorrow as the girls cry. NEW YORK (CNS) -- In 2015, Esquire magazine published Matthew Teague's article "The Friend: Love Is Not a Big Enough Word. ( "How am I supposed to leave in peace?" She was unrecognizable with hatred. ( ( They shared their own painful stories with such overwhelming force he was often struck dumb" by the response. /T 1042081 With Dane's help, they reconcile their relationship. Apologizing for the state of her dress, or the house, or her hair, which had started growing back. Matthew Teague, Writer: Our Friend. ( The film had its world premiere under its original title The Friend at the 2019 Toronto International Film Festival on . Matthew teague the friend essay - suggest He felt restless and started spending more time in his room. ( the friend article by matthew teague pdf [9] It also was screened at AFI Fest on November 16, 2019. ( >> ( 12 0 obj That one pump recorded more than twenty thousand milligrams poured into Nicole. [7][8], The film had its world premiere at the 2019 Toronto International Film Festival on September 6, 2019. ( The Friend. ( The Catholic News Service classification is A-III -- adults. No one ever told me the truth about it, not once. This book arose from a conference held at Woodbrooke in 2019, at which experienced conciliators and younger peace activists came together. "Oh, yes, it is so difficult, but we will make it somehow.". /N 4 ( ( ( Dane and I could hardly see it, because we never left her. Almost all of that year is lost to me. ( Nx4Au& ,USh^e1#miUO9>V_fKyBK.=89TUho.$ ' ~4QY&)m3*TUI++c(#IUvvV>{od*]/ul(;bv0^h&HT(kZi%7qprs@ 7:IccIP IcpA pkr=BW#%"R2 Gz EVus 2\c: oA!.d9v2[EuGj QE QE QE QE QE QE QE QE QE QE QE QE QE QE QE ~( ( (DH+e&CX?[HS@QAj'0MvtYQ#k3Z 2V`1HIZR-ICaBFZ\tE`-tYE{EO ( ( ( Menu. His best friend came to help out for a couple weeks. So we had to start keeping them away from her. ( Grief hollowed me out, and I expected that. I conceded. "Go ahead," she said. ( Nicole prepares a bucket list which Matt and Dane help her accomplish; such as sitting as Grand Marshal of the Mardi Gras parade, swimming in a historic fountain with all of her friends, and writing letters to her daughters for future life events. "No," she said again, disgusted. "It's not your fault. ( For months, we tried to catch it with everything from colostomy bags to special gauzes to cloth diapers, but the stomach acid would burn through any adhesive and eventually started eating her flesh. Firefighters Battle Van Fire At Cantonment Gas Station, Vicky & Michael on %%EOF I was guided towards it by a Friend who shares my concern at the partisan approach of many British Friends to the Israel-Palestine conflict. These potions interrupted the signals between her mind and body, along with everything else in the physical world; her hallucinations disturbed Dane and me and would have terrified the girls. In this article, I examine the alternative economics of reciprocity in American DIY (do-it-yourself) culture. I couldn't make out what he said, so I rinsed off and stepped out of the shower. "b1T75G m gIA!VPVf's.14f=B8Ch zQZ#dnTi$X8$D$I5A,@%*8qfIXk- r%ZqIG,V_FV!4HArHt-Hzy a'+8L]9)$gUxIP:)#jR"L$=$L# j7!^:s^P;]g+ "ieBL$:?V2$eu*'ask|':Z?(xuBH-D)I*?cC6 I was married. ( >> ( My body was useless; I could feel my equilibrium shifting left and right, as though I were still hiking. "I can't die like this.". Nicole had ovarian cancer, which had metastasized to her stomach, and she endured a series of physical insults that, taken individually, would have been shattering; a single trip to the chemo ward, watching what looked like antifreeze flow into her veins while the nurses offered me cheese crackers, would have changed my life forever. 0000000588 00000 n In a most unexpected way, Dane's leaving hit me harder than Nicole's because I wasn't prepared for it. I woke and dressed and fed the girls, Molly and Evangeline, who were ten and seven. ( Judges Hear Appeal From Victim's Family In Adnan Syed Case. "[17], Sheila O'Malley, writing for Roger Ebert's film criticism website, gave it a 3 star rating. The cancer was everywhere, and the parts of dying that nobody talks about were about to start. ( When visitors came, though, we could see it reflected in their faces, or when her shirt slipped to the side, exposing her collarbone. Teague, M. 2016. ( His wife was just thirty-four. ( ( Written by Brad Ingelsby, based on an article by Matthew Teague. No change in complexion. Later that year, I remember him standing sentry at the hospital. Dane helped the girls adjust to an endless life without their mother, but the days without Nicole were empty, and he wanted to find work. ( ( It also came with a hidden price. She told us, "Just don't let me stink.". "If I have to put her in a backpack and carry her to the chemo ward, I'll do it if it means getting an extra day with her.